Preparing for a divorce (legally called a dissolution of marriage) is crucial whether you seek the end of your marriage, or your spouse does. Wisconsin is a “no fault” divorce state which means any married person can be terminated even if the other spouse does not want to get divorced.
If both spouses agree, then a legal separation is an option. Legal separation is similar to a divorce, but parties are still legally connected. However, either party may convert the legal separation to a divorce at any time during the process and even one year after their legal separation, without the agreement of their spouse. Therefore, the preparation is the same whether you are getting divorced or legally separated. Being properly prepared for a divorce is key to protecting you and your family and getting the best outcome possible.
Navigating family court can be confusing, overwhelming, and complicated, so it is necessary to remain organized and focused on your goals. Before filing, keep in mind the following:
Ask Questions: Create a list of questions you have for your attorney and remember there is no such thing as a question that is too small for such an important event. In many cases, we can help you even if you do not know how we can help you.
Brainstorm Goals: Think short-term and long-term goals. What are your specific and general goals for you, for your finances, and for your children? We have represented thousands of clients and everyone approaches divorce differently. We tailor our processes to the goals of each client.
Create a Roadmap: Where do you want to go and how can you get there? We can help you figure it out. Specifically, think about your children’s daily/weekly schedule during the school year and summer breaks, your and your spouse’s work schedules, and any finances including the marital home. While thinking about the big picture can be anxiety-inducing, tracking issues and setting out your goals can help you feel more in control.
If you want to end your marriage, there are three ways to do it: Divorce, Legal Separation, and Annulment. They each have their own benefits and differences, so here is a quick summary.
Divorce: Your legal marriage ends and parties make decisions on divorce topics such as property division, custody, and support.
Legal Separation: The marriage is not legally terminated, but the relationship does change. Parties make decisions on the same divorce topics, live separately and manage finances independently, but they are able to reconcile and resume the marriage.
Annulment: The marriage is legally terminated, but rather than the marriage ending, an annulment means that the marriage never legally happened. These only happen in specific scenarios, but parties still go through the divorce topics that are relevant.
Your first decision is whether you need an attorney and it is entirely your decision. We have represented thousands of clients and have seen every possible level of need. We help you assess your need for an attorney by asking you important questions to spot the issues that must and will be addressed in your case. We then help you determine your goals and will advise you on your options for each of those goals. We do not choose your goals, you do, and they may often change.
We ensure you understand each option in detail while making sure to advise you of any benefits and detriments you are unaware of. Again, your goals may change, or they may not. We as your attorneys simply adjust and adapt.
Many clients have extremely complex cases and know instantly that they need our assistance. Some clients could go through the process on their own but choose to have one of our expert attorneys guide them through the process to ensure things get done properly and they are not taken advantage of. Some clients are unsure if they need an attorney. Regardless of where you fall, call us for a free consultation and we will help you with this first step.
There are certain divorce filing requirements that determine where you file. You must live in Wisconsin for at least six months before you are able to file here. Then, for the county, you have to live in a county for at least 30 days before you can file there. This means, wherever you have lived for the last 30 days is what determines which county you file in.
Understanding which divorce forms to file can be complicated. This is because what forms you need depends on various factors such as whether you have children and whether you are filing with your soon-to-be-ex or not.
If you are not filing together, then you or your ex will have to serve divorce papers to the other party. If you speak with an attorney, they can help you make these decisions and go through this process.
One very important step in preparing for a divorce is realizing that you need to prepare for what is called a temporary order hearing in your divorce case. A temporary order is an enforceable court order that sets rules for while the case is happening.
We do this by filing a request for a temporary order hearing at the same time we file your case or respond to your spouse’s already filed divorce case. We do not simply sit back and rely on your spouse and their attorney’s word to accomplish this goal. These temporary order hearings are scheduled no sooner than 30 days after your divorce case is filed.
The issues to be decided at the temporary order hearing include decisions around children and finances. They get into the specifics to ensure the children are taken care of and that each party can afford bills and their usual style of living.
There are key topics that must be covered in a divorce. You may be able to skip some if you for example have no kids, but either way, they are all topics the court will ensure each separation has an answer for.
When preparing for divorce, we strongly suggest you get your financial information together to prepare for the property division stage of a divorce. Make copies of all monthly utility bills, mortgage statements, credit card bills, auto loans statements, investment and retirement accounts, and any other documents which will show what assets you have and what debts you owe, along with your monthly expenses. We will help you with all of this once you retain us, but the more work do in advance, the faster your separation can be resolved.
The property division process will divide any assets owned including things such as:
You will also need to complete a financial disclosure statement as part of the divorce. This statement is required by the court and intended to list your income, assets, debts, liabilities, and expenses. This information is critical in building a clear picture of your “marital estate” which is the totality of those items subject to division in your case. Some items may be excluded from division by the court; we help identify those items and advise you on that process and again, advise you on your options.
Child custody and child placement in a divorce is often one of the most important decisions for not only the parties in the case but also the court system. Most of Wisconsin’s custody laws boil down to the court looking to determine what is in the best interest of the child. Child custody can be sole or joint. Sole custody means one party can independently make legal decisions on behalf of the child. Joint custody means the legal guardians of the child must make all legal decisions together.
Child placement is where the child resides and can be either primary or shared. Primary placement means the child lives with one party for a majority of the time. Shared placement means the child lives with both parties and can be ordered in a parenting plan for specific days and times for each parent. There are different child placement schedules and which one you pick will depend on what works for your family.
Under Wisconsin law, there are two forms of divorce mediation. First is a way to approach a divorce when both parties want to trust each other and can come to an agreement without the courts deciding things. In divorce mediation, both parties work with a third-party attorney who walks them through the divorce topics, and then helps them file the final paperwork.
Then, court-ordered mediation is required if the parties cannot agree on custody and placement of children. You and your spouse will sit down with a trained, impartial, third party mediator who will work to determine a fair settlement agreement for both parties. This is usually done alongside the court-ordered parenting class.
Even if children are not involved, mediation can be a great solution to help negotiate a fair agreement with greater flexibility and at a lower cost. We can help you to determine if mediation is an appropriate pathway for success.
Safety concerns are a real problem during difficult times in a relationship such as a divorce or separation. It is a hard topic to discuss for many people, but it is too important to risk not discussing. If you fear you are at risk, reach out to an attorney or the police to find your best path forward.
Expert family attorneys are trained to spot issues, including domestic violence (in all forms) and will advise you if we think you are legally a victim of domestic violence. We can then help review your options regarding court orders that grant you certain protections for these safety concerns. This is a complex analysis that requires a long conversation.
How you want to move forward is entirely up to you. We will not tell you what to choose for yourself or your loved ones. What we do is make sure you fully understand the benefits and possible other considerations in pursuing these options. You choose the path that is best for you and your loved ones.
Like many decisions in family law, child support payments are determined by a number of considerations including each parent’s gross income, assets, number of overnights the child will spend with each parent, and more.
If you’d like to try calculating your estimated child support contribution, try using our child support calculator.
Alimony, spousal support, and spousal maintenance are all terms for the same concept. It is payments awarded to one spouse if the judge finds that spouse was financially dependent on the other spouse during the marriage.
There is no set formula for determining spousal maintenance. The court takes numerous factors into consideration to determine if one spouse or the other should be awarded alimony/spousal support. Those factors include each party’s earning capacity, emotional/physical health, education level, and how property is being divided in the divorce.
Divorce and legal separation can be an emotional and difficult process. But there are ways to mentally and emotionally prepare to get through this major life adjustment.
It is key to remember that the process is linear, meaning step one comes before step two, and so on. It is crucial to take each step at a time and as it comes. You are at step one. From here we can help make sure you understand what issues are important and when.
The divorce process is a marathon and not a sprint. It lasts a minimum of four months, which is due to Wisconsin’s mandatory waiting period. You are not allowed, by law, to get divorced any sooner than four months after the non-filing party is served, unless you and your spouse file a joint petition.
As you begin this journey, know that while a solution may not be immediate, each step forward is a step toward resolution.
It is important to recognize that the divorce process is a critical time in your life, and it is normal to feel a wide range of emotions. Don’t be reluctant to lean on your support system throughout the process and rely on your loved ones. Explore your interests, try to think positively, and keep in mind that you are not alone through this period.
Your attorney can support you legally through the process, but don’t forget that you have an entire support system to support you personally and emotionally. This includes family, friends, therapists, coworkers, and anyone else you rely on and trust.
You should prioritize self-care before, during, and after this entire process. We have access to many resources that can help provide support. Moreover, our practice is not only focused on the legalities of your case but also focused on your self-care.
Oftentimes, this is a crucial aspect of divorce proceedings that is overlooked by family law attorneys. Here at Divergent Family Law, we focus on it, and make sure you have options that are at your disposal to help you not only through the case, but afterwards. You deserve complete care from us, and that is what we deliver.
Divorcing a significant other can be a daunting task and, understandably, many partners may not respect your decision or take the news well. If you need to prepare for a divorce in secret, careful planning is of even more importance.
First, reach out to an attorney. We can help you discreetly plan for a divorce. Remember, if you are our client, you are protected under attorney-client confidentiality.
Second, take note of any digital information. Does your spouse know your passwords? Are they logged into your accounts? Figure out what you would like to keep private and be prepared to change passwords to important websites or devices. Writing down passwords or printing out essential financial documents can make the process easier once your spouse discovers your intentions.
Third, consider opening a separate bank account so you have some funds independent of your spouse. Wisconsin is considered a community property state so while this separate bank account will need to be disclosed and will not protect money from your spouse, it could provide some cushion while the process is ongoing.
Fourth, if necessary, plan for a safe location you can stay at once your spouse discovers your plan for divorce. Reach out to friends, family, or even hotels in the area to determine where you can go if you need to physically separate from your spouse before you file.
