In Wisconsin, a contested divorce is when parties disagree on one or more divorce topic. This could be a disagreement on anything from child custody to property division to alimony. Contested divorces are more expensive, but they are necessary when you can’t trust the other person.
Going through a divorce is never easy. There are a ton of decisions to be made and often heavy emotions to work through. On top of that, there’s a maze of paperwork and court procedures to navigate.
One of the biggest factors that determines the complexity of your divorce is whether the divorce is contested or not. The phrase “contested” may mean different things in different jurisdictions. You should always check in with an attorney in your jurisdiction to ensure you’re getting information that is accurate to your situation.
Generally, a divorce is contested if there is at least one issue that the parties don’t agree on. It could be anything from where the children live to who keeps the house to how much child support is… The list is endless. In a more specific legal definition, contested means a divorce where, after a period of negotiation, the parties still have disagreements and need a judge to step in.
By contrast, an uncontested divorce is one where both parties are in agreement on all divorce issues. Couples can move between these two categories throughout the process. There are couples who believe they are in agreement on everything, but then realize they missed something or had different assumptions about what the agreement was. Many couples who start out contested are able to come to agreements eventually and become uncontested.
In Wisconsin, only one party needs to believe the marriage is irretrievably broken in order to get divorced. Divorces can be pushed through even if one side objects. However, it can be hard to come to agreements when only one side is interested in participating.
In practice, many times agreements become easier once both parties are emotionally ready to accept the divorce. Exercising patience here can allow some contested divorces to become uncontested.
Whether or not to contest a divorce depends on the specifics of your situation. Below will give some more general recommendations, but we always recommend speaking with an experienced divorce attorney to see what makes sense for your situation.
A contested divorce is most beneficial in cases where there are genuine issues. Those issues have three main origins:
At a trial, no one has to back down or consent to proposals that they don’t agree with. Each side gets their chance to present their evidence, arguments, and attack the other side’s position. Ultimately, if the parties cannot agree, the judge makes the call.
Especially in cases with kids, the final orders are very important. Getting to a trial ends the waiting and allows everyone to move forward with their lives. And, if you don’t like the orders, they cannot be changed for at least two years unless there is a dramatic change in circumstances.
In large part, contested divorces are more expensive, stressful, and time-consuming. The other disadvantages are that you have no control over the outcome and that your side might lose. You could end up in a worse position than if you had accepted the other side’s proposal. Furthermore, it can be very hard to accept a judicial decision that you disagree with. The emotions of “losing” can compound with the difficult position you are already in.
Once the judge makes the decision, there are very few options for achieving a different outcome. Judges have broad authority to use their discretion when deciding family cases. Even if you’re technically “right” about an issue, the judge may not follow your proposal.
When parties come to an agreement, they have almost complete control over the content of the agreement. They can make it very specific or leave parts vague. They can come to agreements that a court would never order, such as shared placement of a pet or a lengthy refinance deadline.
The exact steps of a divorce can differ by county, but these are the general steps.
This is the first document filed with the court. It informs the court that you would like to get divorced and gives the court some basic information about you, your spouse, and any kids. Filing this form triggers the court to create a case for you and starts your 120-day waiting period.
By law, both parties are required to make a full and complete disclosure of all income, assets, debts, and other liabilities.
Many couples need some written rules while the divorce is pending. This is called temporary orders and can cover a variety of topics. They often cover child placement, bill payment, and similar day-to-day matters.
This can occur through a variety of mechanisms. Some couples work through all of the child-based issues and then move onto the financial aspects. The sides may formally request various documents and information from each other. Often there are several proposals passed back and forth between the sides. Appraisals of property may be obtained to fine-tune the financial information. Occasionally, additional parties will be brought in, like a guardian ad litem for the children or a financial mediator to give a neutral perspective.
In short, both sides gather and consider evidence, arguments, and proposals. In many cases, this results in the parties coming to agreements on most, if not all, of the issues.
It is rare for parties to disagree on absolutely everything. All agreements are written into a document called the Marital Settlement Agreement. It is not uncommon for parties to submit one or more partial marital settlement agreements as they sort out issues. This can be a helpful tool for “locking in” agreements and preventing the parties from trying to circle back to settled matters.
The remaining disputed issues are then handled by the court in a trial. If there are only a few small issues, the trial may take a couple of hours. If there are significant issues remaining, the trial may last for days.
A good divorce lawyer will give you honest, legally correct feedback on your case and zealously advocate for your goals. These are both critical aspects of an expert divorce attorney. An attorney who zealously advocates for your wishes without telling you that your desire is unreasonable is simply driving up your bill. An attorney who helps you set reasonable expectations but then doesn’t argue for them isn’t serving your interests.
Many people looking for a divorce attorney look for a “bulldog” or someone who is going to tear the other side apart. Unfortunately, an attorney who only utilizes this tactic is unlikely to achieve your best outcomes. Attacking and destroying the other person will dis-incentivize that person from making agreements with you. Even if you get what you wanted at trial, you will likely have spent more money than was necessary getting there. And, if you have kids with this person, you will also have poisoned your ability to co-parent together.
The judge is a referee and decision-maker. As a referee, they ensure both sides are following the rules and act ethically. As decision-maker, they enable the parties to move forward by deciding the issues that the parties couldn’t come to agreement on. People cannot stay in limbo forever. Judges give clear orders for how life will look going forward.
